Kanavuku pinnum karayadha nee..

It is a demanding, unforgiving and ruthless career,
Little or no social life,strained relationships,
The perks are little,
The ambience can get cold n tasteless,
But the revival of hearts is priceless,
And thats why we feel alive and on top,
This is being me
This is being a cardiac surgeon..

I have learnt now to dream, to dream more carefully, as my dreams have a tendency to spring to life, as my dreams are intertwined with the people i love , with the people i judge …
I know now that my destiny carves the trippiest path to paradise and not to nothingness…
A god who is willing and extremely resourceful, how do i know that…
Irukaadha pinna, naa vacha pullikellam
Koalam poadrarae,
Appidi avar 39 yrs ah poata koalam, konjam visthaarama, ATACAMA desert la poata patterns madiri bramandama irukum poala, birds eye view la paatha , yen vazhkaila naa sandicha manidargaloada eeramum good will um thaan teriyudhu…

 

I confess .. i am an uncouth vagabond..
The people i have been with have shown me only goodness and extreme kindness, which has mellowed , civilised , and humbled me down..

Illayaraja oada BGM la karanju,
Baalya snehidham nenjula nirayara nostalgic tharunathula,
Uravugalin idhamana ninaivugal sanjarikara piniravil,
Manasum kangalum pannika,

Yen vaazhvil , naan nandrikoorum ninaivugalai padhiya….
CARDIO COSMO KADHAL ( CCK ) ….
——————————————————
LAST TEN DAYS..

CANNIS MAJORA VA appidiyae swallow panna feel ?…

At the culmination of the last ten days, how am i feeling??

Just like an astronaut, who in his maiden voyage bursts into a black hole, sees the back of his own head before crossin event horizon..
may be a little more adventurous than that……..

OR may be i feel like a fresh IPS graduate, pumping hot smokin bullets into a live man’s chest…
May be a little more dominant than that….

OR may be like a formula one driver, anxious n wrapped in fear before the drive thats either gonna kill or make him…
May be more insane that..

OR may be like a particle physicist working in a LARGE HADRON COLLIDER, stumbling upon the GOD’s particle …
May be a little more humbled than that…

OR may a collage of all that feel…

More PRELUDE..,

Four months into the country’s best HEART N LUNG TRANSPLANT team, that has a fairy taleish MENTOR,
A team that slavedrives to professional discipline and excellence, urges and helps everyone to build themselves to the highest standards.
SCIENCE IS THEIR RELIGION.
The democracy that exists in the team, the spirit , attitude and most importantly the surgical discipline exhibited by the PRIME is beyond the beauty of IC 1101..

Fuck me … how am i agreein to parallel IC 1101 to my mentor and the PRIME.

Fuck me not …will justify how… later

In a conv of ten min, with the PRIME,if one is not mesmerised, they aint human..regardless of the gender..

Frailty of genius… needs an audience,
He is an exception
No audience
No drama
Surgical excellence at its best is executed,
A mentorship like never before is displayed,
His charm, efficiency , skills percolates through all levels like water does to soil..

I was luxuriously hiding in the comfort of the most skilled team, a well oiled system, churning out good results from heart and double lung transplants.
Ultimate protection comes from the PRIME, he can repair, re do , undo whatever we can complicate.
He can stoop low to appreciate even the most trivial of good work, who at the end of the surgery leaves me completely awed, n makes me feel that there is nothing that he cannot do..
and if there is nothing that he cannot do—god save the patient n us…

And then suddenly he throws me in deep waters, clearly stating that i ain’t gonna drown but gonna learn swimmin… only i know .. i can’t even float…
———————————————————-

MAIDEN HEART DOUBLE LUNG RETRIEVAL

The nightmare unveiled… call from the transplant co ordinator at twelve midnight to go n harvest heart n double lung as suggested by my chief., no escape from that .. the vehicle was to pick me up in forty min. I was panickin inside , kaadhalan pabhudeva feel panra madiri vayitrukum thondaikum uruvamilla urunda urulra feel thaan,
Predawn flight to trichy, then by road to madurai, ukkandhitae thoongiruvaen, to my own surprise i became insomniac..
but as we reached the hosp i was calmin down, only because the prime had unleashed his generals to wage my war…

The pulmonologist and the anesthetist showed why they are the best, their professional support was so huge , no adjectives can do justice to describe.
Kambhan veetu thariyum kavi paadum,with such an efficient team backin me up, no reason for no one to err….

Inside the theatre before retrieving the organs , met other cardiothoracic consultants from apollo and fortis, they were there to harvest the organs in case if we decline using it for our recipients.. the interaction with them killed the CORPORATE MYTH. Corporate ANIMOSITY aint existing at that level.

At five pm, the liver team had opened the abdomen to prep the liver retrieval, subsequently we opened the chest … dhak dhak moment…. the heart n lungs were lookin good, the green signal given, the recipent was wheeled to the operating room, the machinery had begun..

Surgical precision is surgical precision…
during the whole procedure, i think i was havin a million heart attacks , as if earth is constantly being bombarded by hundreds of meteors…
We arrested the heart at 1937 hrs, got the heart n lung out by 2005 hrs…. got it into the container, changed from surgical scrubs and we lunged out of the theatre…

As we ran out of the theatre with the organs , the crowd in the hospital moved away just like moses departed the red sea, it was overwhelmin, my eyes blurred n heart was melting.

GREEN CORRIDOR TO MADURAI AIRPORT

At madurai airport, the flight was speculated to be delayed by fifteen min, but surprisingly arrives on time. I was flabbergasted.
behind the story was intriguing, the pilot was informed about a possible heart and lung transfer and unbelievable —- for the time lost from mumbai to chennai , he compensates it up on air between chennai and madurai to reach on time… how do we thank for such acts of kindness…

Reached chennai ,
Again GREEN CORRIDOR..

I was swayin inside the ambulance , fear and excitement and anxiety and a pinch of gastritis too, the ambulance driver puts not just his foot, also his / our lives n heart on the accelerator… an insane drive to save a few precious moments ..we whizzed past the lazy traffic to reach the hospital in twenty min..

Heart and lungs implanted, and in some days later , another heart and lung retrieval , another lung retrieval and another call that did not materialise …. five transplants in ten days … emotions were running high …. it just felt beautiful to be a part of something that can be paralled to the best teams in the world….

Resurrection of hearts n lungs is truly a miraculous science and glad to be a witness in it …

Heart n lung after transimplantation
Donors family , people who moved away for the ambulance, cops for creatin green corridors, paramedics, canteen guys who are up with a smile through the night… good will everywhere, and they are more blessed coz they know not what they are part of ,still vibrate kindness.

The team has completed more than hundred transplants in a little more than a year.. my association is twenty five transplants with them, millions of good things to learn… foremost is , no place for mediocrisy here, coz complacency n mediocrisy aint just gonna hurt me.. its gonna hurt the team , eventually the patients…

———————————————————
NADUVULA KONJAM PAKKATHA KANOAM… kaamama poana idam BLUE CAVE STUDIOS…

Ivlo transplant calls ku naduvula, one eve i had the moment to chill with my bil,
He knows how to light it up
Maams 96 paathiteengala,
Hmmm okayish yesh…
Ippadi soliteengalae nu oru reaction,

Then after a BLUNT

He plays out this cover music of kadhalae song from 96, somethin happened, cant distinctly say,
Keys n fiddle did the damage … it was as if someone was fingerin my heart,the orgasm was mammoth, extendin to the next day ,topping up with karai vandha piragae pidikudhu kadalai song…
All this unleashed a variety of nostalgia, moments from school days, football , sunny , avanti autogear days, bsa slr red, tuition classes with RSV master, sports days, sacred heart church masses…

Balyamum balu vum
CCK Jananam ivan ubayam
Niraya paesalam ivana pathi… laters though…

CLASS OF TWELVE A
SACRED HEART CONVENT , batch of 96
Vpm

Ten boys ku one girl ratio nu irukara sila schools ae co ed nu sollipaanga….
Our twelve A class had 25 boys and 38 girls…. u can guess how green it would have been, the memories that would have been imparted..

Ninaivil nindra mugam

Sacred heart school dress code for girls insist , a type of grey pinafore skirt that has to be at knee length or shorter… some did not heed to it , coz they were probably too shy or probably their parents were…
two things killed the aesthetics
A longer pinafore
A different shade of grey
Bombay lead actress saayal , this girl wore longer pinafore, faded grey . .. but still retained the charm n grace, yet had a mystical melancholy adorning her…
A newcomer to our school, i guess she did not fit in…
our own monalisa.. unable to read what she emotes..
Many guys were behind her, she did not seem to be even excited by that fact,
She lived in the same street as mine and came to my father for maths tutions…
A self claimed boy friend of hers thought i was troubling her( the fact .. i was not troubling her, my associate was) and came with about forty boys from his class ( kamaraj boys high school … ) to allegedly threaten me …
They were all waitin for me outside our school,
Gaaali aagi iruka vaendiyadhu … luckily the chief of the chota ganster gang was another podi payyal who lived opposite my home and also is my father’s student.. we called him viji…. bowling poadum boadhu , over um kidayadhu , battingum kuduka maatreenga nu avan pulambina sambavam nyabagam vandhu sirichu vaera vachitaen,, he was magnanimous to send the gang off…. he had later formed his own political outfit , opposed a major party.. but was murdered….. news kaetu nenju kanadhuchu..

Back to the self addressed boy friend.. he used to pick our girl up from school, cycle thaan… paaka aacharya ma irukum…
Roja poo ponnu she .. rogue madiri avan …idikudhae ninachu irukoam, her unwillingness was so evident.., we prodded and the confession was that her aunt was sendin him to pick her up n drop at home …
Few months later.. that guy was mothered and his family was forced to move to another state ….reason will remain guarded..?

Dodabetta la pani vilagi , thideernu oru brahmipa oru view kidaikum, likewise i saw her at noon time with a smile that showed she is free and at peace ..
Its been twenty two yrs now, she is like the aroma of first rains hittin the soil..
not heard of her … hope all is well with her..

Manasil nindra mariyadhai

Nalladhoru veenai seydhu , adhan nallan keda puzhudhiyil yeriya vidamal, how to resurrect thyself nu book poata… she ll be the core..

She is a tom boyish girl, intimidates me with the intellect and attitude .. then and now …
my respect and regards a for her will always grow….

More to document ……laterrrrrrs….
Aavi